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Issue 2021-1 (January)

Heartbeat

The Northern California Heartbeat is a place for men to tell their stories,
share their works, their experiences, and keep the community up-to-date.

— In this Issue —

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The Greeting

The Greeting-Kelly Doughty

Kelly Doughty

Welcome to the second issue of our online journal for Warrior Brothers of Northern California. This second issue comes with the new moniker of The Heartbeat. Recall the vibration of so many men there for you. I hope this inspires you in your mission, and to engage with your larger community in Nor Cal.

In my greetings, I will share how we are organized, highlight men & their roles, and ask for your feedback. I encourage you to read and reach out to the authors & men cited in the articles. Let’s connect! That is our pulse, our heartbeat. 🙂

In this issue, I call out our Warrior Brother Community (WBC) Circle. This group was first formed by the Nor Cal Stewardship Council in February 2020 and is here to enhance our connections and community within the initiated men in Nor Cal. While COVID-19 gave us all a rocky start, this circle has produced this Nor Cal Heartbeat, and other results: Developed an online Calendar for NorCal meetings & events; Produced virtual events including Mask Night, Movie Night, and a Holiday Gathering, and; Established a subgroup exploring the roles of our IGroup Regional Reps & Community Coordinators.

The WBC Circle includes Gary Reedy, Bill Davies, Randall Maynard, Jedi Hunnicut, Bob Johnson, Gurudarshan Khalsa, Sam Ladion, Kurt Reinkens, and Bill Zabor. Do you have energy for this? Would you like to join us?

There is space for you, brother, to step further into our community. Whether you step into a role and make something happen, or just read the Heartbeat and feel the connection. I welcome you.

Kelly Doughty, NorCal Area Steward; kelly.doughty.mkp@gmail.com


Leader Body

Martin Marks

Martin Marks

Greetings, Men

Well, I’ve got to say that I’m not sad to see “COVID 2020” come to completion AND “COVID 2021” has now just begun – YIKES!

I did my best not to simply say “Fuck 2020!” and move on, but to look at the year and see what I learned, then get clear about my intentions for the New Year! What I really got from last year is that there is so much in my life over which I have NO CONTROL, not even the ILLUSION OF CONTROL! My intention for the New Year is to manifest more Compassion, Patience & Hope in every aspect of my life – now that should be quite a journey!

So, what did you learn about yourself last year? Were you willing and able to live your Mission during a year of quarantine-induced separation? How did you stay connected to your IGroup – more Zoom Calls with their obvious limitations? When living in a society that is quarantined due to the horrific spread of this pandemic, finding intention, purpose, and connection is more impactful than ever!

As Warriors we know how to be of service – to ourselves, our family, & our community – and now, more than ever, this is so very important! To support us in this work, our MKP USA community has done an extraordinary job to significantly expand their trainings, most of which are now online – you might want to take a look at this link at MKP Connect: https://mkpusa.org/training-catalog/.

TOGETHER WE CAN DO THIS!

Blessings & Love,
Martin Marks, Full Leader/Leader Trainer


New Warrior Training Adventure (NWTA) EnrollmentNext Man

Enrollment is my passion. Many of you have heard me say that; but the deeper truth is men getting healthier is my passion. Healthier is different for every man. It may be getting sober or it may mean getting those oranges back, or a myriad of other needs. Last October marked 21 years in the MKP for me. In that time, I have seen & talked with hundreds of men and we all seem to have one thing in common…we want to get better at being us. It doesn’t happen overnight, Lord knows I have stumbled, tripped, and fallen along the way. I just keep my eyes up and keep moving forward. For me, getting men to the NWTA is a great step; might not be a man’s first step, but, what a step.

We have an NWTA scheduled for Apr 30-May 2, 2021 at Heartland Collective near Wheatland, CA. This is not a Raw NWTA, but an adaption due to pandemic safety needs. There will be social distancing, masks, and sleeping in tents or under the stars. Food will be supplied, as usual, but not in the usual way; a very small MOS team will make that happen.

The Apr/May NWTA is capped at 17 participants and a smaller staff to match that number. There are five men on the waitlist, today. Keep in mind we had to cancel three NWTAs last year, which means almost 60 men were left without an NWTA to attend. Some of those men are in the Apr/May NWTA.

For the rest of 2021, no other NWTAs are in place yet, but we will plan them as possibilities emerge. We may return to Heartland Collective for one or more NWTAs later in the year. Stay tuned here, and to NCal-talk & -info, for more on these plans.

I get asked many times, “how do I talk to a man about the NWTA?” I will talk more about this in later issues of Heartbeat, but for now, the simplest answer is…from your heart and experience. You got something from the NWTA; share that. Share what it was like for you, what came up, what did you move from the past, or what came up that needed more work in your igroup. Be straight, direct, vulnerable, and then let it go. The man will come when he is ready…keep bugging him and he will sense it’s about you and bail.

One last note, the NWTA is now $750 (not $649). Yeah, we just rounded it off to make life easier for all of us. For scholarship, payment, and registration information, see New Warrior Training Adventure.

Randall Maynard, Enrollment Coordinator; randallmaynard@mkp.org.


From the Elders

Gurudarshan Khalsa

Gurudarshan Khalsa

As your new lead Elder in Nor Cal, I have been blessed to experience so much vibrant Elder energy, both nationally, and in northern California. More details below.

In many traditional societies, elders were keepers of the wisdom, songs, and stories that define the culture. Elders had mostly completed their “doing.” They were able to stand back with perspective, and support other people who had become the doers in their villages.

In our modern, youth-oriented culture, elders have often been disregarded as old geezers. However, I’m glad to say that elders receive respect within the Mankind Project, and we’ve now joined together to nurture each other and to share our collective wisdom with all those in the organization. I believe that we elders can work together to help create a richer, more meaningful life for everyone in our society, including our children and grandchildren.

Being an elder is based on your attitude and desire. It is self-proclaimed. We are each figuring out what this means on an ongoing basis. Our elder circles are here to support one another along the journey. If you, or someone you know, is at all interested, please reach out. The arbitrary age of 50 is often cited as the beginning of elderhood, but if you feel the calling, give us a shout.

On the national level, we’ve been having very powerful Elder Cafes on the first and third Saturday mornings. There was a great three-day USA gathering of elder men and women recently. And, there are many other elder connection circles. Most of these are online via Zoom. If you’d like to receive information about these types of offerings, log in to mkpconnect.org. When you see your MKP Profile, select Find, and then Email Lists. You will come to the Email List Search. Type elder in the title box, then select Apply. You will find a whole list of elder groups, including ncal-elders on the second page.

Your Nor Cal Elder council is holding the vision of a vibrant Elder community, supporting each other within MKP, and also to serve as elders in our larger communities, outside MKP. The council is here to serve, and is open to supporting any ideas you may have. Please let us know what you want.

We’ve been working hard to create offerings that we think men might be interested in. These include exploring what it means to be an elder, giving all i-groups access to a visiting Elder, an opportunity for young elders to begin their exploration, and forming Elder groups in your smaller geographical area. We will be sending out an email soon with more information, and a survey to find out what you are interested in. We will connect you with other men with similar interests. Please keep an eye out for that.

If you’re not already on the ncal-elders email list, you can join at mkpconnect.org, as mentioned above. We would love to have you along for this rich, deep ride.

Love & blessings,
Gurudarshan Khalsa, Starman- Lover of Beauty


Intercultural AdvocateMayan Mask

Blessings and gratitude to you all. Welcome to 2021!

I would like to share with you all that I am honored to hold this position of service. I see it as an opportunity for growth and connection. Which I feel lines up with my mission: “I create a world of unity and love by creating family and connection.” Since stepping into this role, I have had the opportunity to connect various men from all over the country and also men from various countries all over the world. This past summer while I was on a retreat, I connected with a man who noticed my MKP t-shirt. He stated that he had been away from MKP for a while, we talked and now I see this man back active in MKP. This past year I have connected to so many new men in a variety of Zoom spaces.

Here in Nor Cal we are (I am) committed to exploring and creating a world where diversity and inclusion find a balance in our daily life. My personal goal is to have more men of color in leadership roles, committee positions and joining our MKP community. This will become a reality if we continue to create spaces where Men of all ethnicity, race, sexual orientation, age, class, religion, abilities, disabilities feel safe, heard and cared for.

We will be continuing a Race & Racism Zoom meeting where we offer an open space for men to share and be witnessed in their experience around the subject. There is a monthly MOC (Men of Color) Zoom, and a WOCU (Warriors of Color United) Zoom where there is a global call and presence, as well as a PAME (Pan Asian Middle Eastern) Zoom and a Latino-specific Zoom.

For more information or to connect, please reach out to me (rrstar3603@gmail.com) or to a lead man in your community. Ideas and better if’s are appreciated as I/ we continue to learn and grow.

Thank you, and sending you love in 2021.

Blessings & Gratitude
Ruben Serafin Rosas, Soaring Hawk (Halcon Altismo); Nor Cal Intercultural Advocate


Call to Service

May 2019

May 2019

Who do you serve? That was a common gateway for us all. And through various passageways, we each found our unique mission, and have likely modified and refined it to serve us in how we want to show up today, and what we want to create. “I create a [vision] world by [action].”

Particular visions and actions vary among men, and yet at a fundamental level, we all choose to be giving of ourselves. Studies show that people who give of themselves to others are happier. And it follows that men who give of themselves from a place of mission, are more likely to experience purpose and connection. I have seen that.

For the last two years, I have invited fellow warrior brothers to join me in acts of service. The organizations we serve (for example, Community Beyond Violence and Gold Country Senior Services) have been thrilled to have a group of reliable men, even for a few hours. What I most appreciate is our ability to work as a team, happy to be together and be of service. Currently, we have a monthly Saturday morning of service splitting firewood for low-income seniors. This provides me a meaningful connection with brothers in other IGroups, as well as with my larger community. I am buoyed by these simple and joyful acts of service together, especially when I may not be so clear on how I am otherwise living my mission.

Jan 2021

Jan 2021

Showing up for MKP service events is not something every man will choose to do, just like not every man staffing NWTAs will choose to be on Men of Service. However, may every man have the opportunity to serve and to connect.

Could you create a service event in your community for warrior brothers (and possibly their families) to enjoy? It’s easier than you might think. Choose a local non-profit that is already doing something (such as proving food or housing) and needs more help. If you need a start, ask your local United Way. Then, talk to a Director or Program Manager, so that they know you have a special group of men. and that they can best coordinate a fulfilling experience. Lastly, invite all the brothers you can, and ask them to bring it up in their IGroups. Ask for support and enjoy receiving support through the day of service.

I would be honored to support you, so please contact me with any questions.

Gary Reedy; garyreedy@gmail.com


IGroup Update

IGroup UpdateMore than 50 Nor Cal Integration Groups (IGroups) met in early 2020 when the pandemic forced us to stop gathering as we had. Most of the groups have persevered using Zoom or in some cases modified outdoor meetings. Remarkably, several new Open IGroups were created in March 2020 with the support of a team of men who stepped up. Bill Zabor’s effort to achieve this effort is not only commendable, but a great example of leadership. Bill joined MKP in June 2019 and jumped in right away to help coordinate this effort.

Nor Cal’s Open Circles currently meet three nights a week (Monday, Wednesday, & Thursday at 7 p.m.). Attendance is typically 6-10 men per night. We have great leaders & co-leaders: Patrick Gazley, Spencer Eubank, Jay Saber, Jerry Green, Drew McCrary, & Bill Davies. We’ve had men from all over the U.S. and as far away as Thailand & Nigeria.

Come check out an Open Circle some night!


Going Deeper in IGroup

I received fantastic value from my original igroup for over six years of the regular routine. We took turns leading and followed the standard four-round format. Lover round to share our feelings and what was going on for us. Warrior round to handle clearings, logistics, self-accountability, support accountability, and withholds. Magician round to do our personal growth or transformation work. King round to bless self and others, state our plan for the next week, and declare our personal growth stretch to achieve the plan.

Waves of WorkAfter four-five years of meeting weekly, I became aware of a recurring pattern. For example, I might come into group feeling a charge with my boss, because he continuously added to my job description without ever praising me for what I’d already accomplished. I’d get into my transformation work, have someone guide me through a process, and find at the bottom that I was seeking praise from my father who wasn’t able to express it to me directly. I’d plan a stretch to make progress on that topic for the next week. I might not feel any need to work for another month. Eventually, I’d choose to work on some other topic, but find the same wound and need at the bottom. It felt like my step forward in one specific area did not resolve as much of the underlying issue as I’d hoped.

One night I shared my frustration and other men shared theirs. Dialogue amongst the men revealed we collectively wanted to increase focus, a way to invigorate the group, and a deeper layer of work with greater manifestation of vision. We ran a “Keep-Stop-Start” process identifying new approaches to managing our group and how we work. We defined what we were willing to create to serve ourselves, the group, and our communities. Over the past seven years, we’ve run that improvement process (K-S-S) 26 times and have honed a powerful system we call Waves of Work.

Waves of Work is a series of three-month cycles (waves) during which half the men “guide” and the other half “work.” It offers a month for clarifying exactly what workers want different in their life, a month working on their specific issues using a guided variety of methods, and a month of anchoring their growth. Men generally alternate “Guiding” and “Working.” For most evenings we also include a shadow watcher to point out unintended shadow behavior. Our group has mentored other groups adopting this process. While it takes more effort (especially for the Guides), my experience and the reports of others confirm that the effort is more than offset by the collective growth.

Written by a member of the WoW IGroup in Cupertino, California. WoW is willing to serve other groups via mentoring, and accepts new members when seats are available. If interested, please contact Jean-Frederic, jf@aboudarham.com or 650-224-0085.


Be a Member

No ExcusesBe a part of the action by being an MKP member with Nor Cal

We are more than a weekend, an I-Group, an Area, or a Society. We empower men to lives of mission for the sake of humanity and a better world. In 2020, we expanded our offerings through a new curriculum for men at any stage in their journey. We’ve rolled out new men’s groups and new ways to connect in the community. In 2021, we will resume NWTAs for waiting and next men, as well as expand other trainings and community events. Many men and families will benefit. Your support makes the difference!

When joining with your automatic payment (any amount welcome), be sure to select Northern California for sharing. You get direct benefits of membership, and the 50/50 split is the perfect way for us to advance our work together.

Join MKP Today!


Is now your time? Are you ready to take the next step in your life? Do you know a man who is ready?
Enroll in an NWTA!

A man may need our help to attend an NWTA; you can be that man for him.
Donate to the NCal Next Man Fund.


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